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. . ‘it’, as much as you did. I was caught up in the moment, we both were,’ Carmen said with sincerity while lifting Benita’s chin so her friend would look her in the eye. ‘You enjoyed it?’ Benita asked in quiet disbelief. ‘I told you I did and I meant it,’ Carmen said with a meek smile as their eyes met. ‘I thought you were just saying that . . . to be nice,’ Benita replied in a self-conscious manner. ‘I wasn’t! Just because I enjoyed it, doesn’t mean I want to do it again, or that we should. We’re both women and best friends, this has all happened so fast, I just want some time to sort it all out. I don’t hate you or blame you for what we did. We both wanted it and chose to do it.’ Carmen said as she moved in and hugged Benita in a friendly manner. ‘Thanks,’ Benita said with a warm and reassured smile. ‘Now we’d better get out there and have breakfast before mom comes looking for us,’ Carmen said as she broke the embrace and got dressed. Breakfast was a tense affair with both. She told me that Ray wanted to know everything that was happening to her. She believed he was compensating for his being deprived of Fran going to full-term. But I was not totally convinced. I was worried that there might be another motive; that he really had fallen for her. Would he renege on his commitment, and use the baby as a means to stay in close contact with her? And what about Clare? She had tried to reassure me, saying that she could have stopped having sex with him earlier. I did not doubt she meant what she said, but other hormones were now active. Could she really bear his child and not feel something special for him? And, horror of horrors, might she actually leave me, for the father of her baby? Surely, it could not happen, and yet... Autumn became winter and Clare, now six months gone, radiated serenity. A smile from her and I would feel at peace with the world. A frown, and my deep-seated concerns would resurface; my mood would become as black as the wintry weather..
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